02 Nov 2006
Amir Muhammad
Foreign tourists were impressed that Malaysians could contribute to the nation by keeping their taps running.
THE one-day Water Festival held in Selangor, Putrajaya and Kuala Lumpur yesterday was a great success, with thousands of people feeling refreshed, blessed and excited about greater national fortunes.
Held in 12 different stadiums in the area, the festival consisted of various politicians and bureaucrats spreading the word about the increased tariff for water use.
"There will be no increase for the first 20 cubic metres used!" said a visibly elated infrastructural chairperson Thelonious Boo to the packed crowd in the Shah Alam stadium. "But consumers will pay 13 per cent more per cubic metre used for the next 15 cubic metres and 17.6 per cent more per cubic metre after 35 cubic metres!"
His announcement was greeted with jubilation and waves. The crowd became even more ecstatic when he said: "Commercial users will now pay 15 per cent more for usage of below 35 cubic metres per month and 18.8 per cent more for every cubic metre of water above 35 cubic metres!"
Water festivals all over Asia are an opportunity to celebrate bounty and goodwill, and this is no exception. Other examples are the ones in Tonle Sap, Cambodia and Songkran, Thailand.
But the Water Festival in Malaysia is different. Instead of merely celebrating the good fortunes of self-interested individual farmers who will benefit from the swelling of rivers, Malaysians from all walks of life came out in force to celebrate the increased revenue that the authorities will receive.
"This shows that we are solidly united as a nation and that we back all decisions that will improve the coffers of the state," Boo says.
The festival attracted over 100,000 people who were overjoyed by the motivational speeches and giant PowerPoint displays explaining exactly how much more they will now have to pay for their water.
"The tables contrasting the new rates against the old were really nice," says fragrance promoter Bedah Manjalara.
"I really love how the red column coordinated with the violet and orange ones. It really was quite moving to see such a massive display of numbers in terms of monetary value and cubic metres," she says.
"And when all the water balloons were dropped and burst on the audience, it was such a pleasant human touch. This is something I will remember for a long time."
Mechanical engineer Salman Ubon agreed. "Not since the closing ceremony of the Commonwealth Games here have I seen such a cheerful display," he said, clutching the commemorative bottle of mineral water priced at RM49. "It made me so proud."
Pensioner Mat Top Zizan said: "I enjoyed the festivities and continued to enjoy them when I went to my favourite coffee-shop later where I found that the prices of drinks had all gone up. I am glad to see the business sector is also solidly behind efforts to spread awareness about this Water Festival."
Foreign tourists were just as impressed. "The citizens of Malaysia are very fortunate to be able to contribute so directly to the nation," says German shepherd Ulli Edeli. "The people in other countries are in such a dilemma. But here all you have to do is keep the tap running!"
If the response from the public continues to be positive, another increase might take place in 2009. In the meantime, the authorities are mulling the possibility of staging the festival in other states as well.
"Why should people in KL, Putrajaya and Selangor always have all the fun?" asked Boo rhetorically.
Monitor lizard told to resign
IN an unprecedented move, the head of the Air Bugar Animal Sanctuary has instructed its monitor lizard to tender his resignation after receiving allegations of abuse.
The charges against nine-year-old Awang, who measures almost one-metre long, are severe.
They include the harassment, intimidation and consumption of other critters in the sanctuary, which include birds, rodents and small deer, leading to a loss of morale as well as depletion of numbers.
"We expected Awang to monitor the others but he has instead abused his position," says Dr Zalila Sayfool. "He has disgraced his species."
On the anonymous nature of the complaints, Dr Zalila explains: "Other animals have lived in fear of Awang ever since he began active duty two years ago.
"The animals that voiced concern mysteriously would end up missing and Awang would skip his meal for that day, leading to worries of foul play."
Critics say that the call for resignation is a case of "too little too late".
"The department should have realised much earlier that the numbers were getting depleted," says Suspuria Chen of the NGO Hakmu.
It is believed that the trouble began when Awang was allowed to appoint his younger siblings to be in charge of the daily inventory, so the numbers always seemed to be fine.
Suspicions only arose when, after a family feud, the siblings started disappearing too.
Chen called for greater transparency and accountability for other staff appointments in the future.
"After all, we don’t want the saying ‘Harapkan biawak, biawak makan burung, rusa dan arnab’ to come tragically true again."
When pressed for comment, Awang merely burped contentedly. But a Press conference is expected soon for him to explain his side of the story.
Billboard feud distracting motorists
THE public has been warned against being distracted by the ongoing billboard "feud" between two mobile telecommunication giants.
There have been several incidents of road accidents caused by motorists who were too intent on reading the catchy slogans and admiring the looks of the models on these boards.
The results are sometimes not a pretty sight.
"This feud will not benefit the ordinary members of the public," says a spokesman for the road-safety body.
"It may provide some temporary amusement, sure, but it might make you late for your appointment.
"And Malaysians are tardy enough as it is."
What makes this feud worse is that opposing billboards tend to be placed quite close to one another.
This means that motorists have to slow down twice along the same stretch of road, leading to traffic congestion.
Another group unexpectedly unhappy with the feud: the Mat Rempit.
"We go out of our way to execute illegal, dangerous stunts but drivers are more intent on checking out mobile-phone billboards, of all things," says one.
"It makes us feel quite unloved and unwanted."
He adds that he and his friends will back any proposal to end the feud so that they can carry on their normal activities by terrorising other road users.
Media critic G Pundeet, however, sees another side to the story. "This is to be expected in a society where freedom of choice exists," he says while debating whether to have a mango lassi or orange lassi to go with his rice.
"The fact that we have different billboards is proof that democracy is alive and well."
0 comments:
Post a Comment